Saturday 4 December 2010

Back home again and having to choose to let go...

Friday...

WAS AMAZING! We were still snowed in at Dad and Mum's and so we just spent the whole day making super home made food, cutting wood (I can use an axe!) Target shooting, Tobogganing and making snow angels! I can't believe how cold it was, but a few good swings of the axe and you soon warm up. It was too cold to even make snow balls, we tried and tried, but they wouldn't stick together... To bad really as my sister Debbie and I were at the top of a big hill and the boys were at the bottom, we were trying to make a big snow ball to roll down the hill at them with the hope it would get bigger and bigger and get them all covered in snow!! but it was a big fail! So we made snow angels, and snow face prints (bad ideas is it was sooooo cold it burnt our faces, but fun all the same!)

Then in the evening we sat by the log burner and played cards and then watched the start of the new NCIS series (which Richard and I haven't seen yet) and ate lots of chocolate and pop corn! Super super day!

Saturday


Started really great with the heating in our room WORKING!!! Oh yeah and little Katie climbing in for a cuddle and to play peek a boo. Then after breakfast my sisters and I help Mum tidy the house while Rich and Dad went out shopping! (I think I should add here that the snow melted in the night due to LOTS of rain, but we had lots of fun so we were lucky really)

Debbie, Kirsty, Amy and I all decided to have our own X-factor moment and sang a lot of Whitney Houseton, and other musical numbers! Which was fab. They all have lovely voices and I hope they will get a chance to use them some day.

WE packed up and then it kind of dawned on me that we were going home and I guess allowed myself to start making stuff up about how it could be really bad when we got home, how the kids weren't going to behave and how Richard could so easily start freaking out about not passing his navy interviews. Then I chose to start worrying about the future and got myself all upset. Silly me! I know it was daft, that it was a choice, I chose to let myself get upset and that I was making stuff up! I had no idea really what it would be like when we got home and I don't know what the future holds.

I know I need to pull myself together and start trusting God and start trusting Rich again. Worrying is not going to help and in fact it will make my sad,  it will make things much harder for Richard and is really being very pride full and choosing not to trust God. I basically saying that I don't trust him with my life, to have a good plan for me and so I don't want to give him control and relax. How very rude of me.... I know this all to be true, but you know what it is flipping hard to let go sometimes. Maybe if I keep making a conscious effort to et go and to relax, stop worrying and give things to God then over time it will be come more natural. What do you think? I hope so because right now it is pretty tricky...

Well the washing up needs doing again, the washing is on and Rich will be back soon. So I better go and get on with it! I hope you have a super evening. Love to all your family xx

2 comments:

  1. I welled up reading this. HOW HARD IS IT?? Really, it is soooo hard to just say "Lord, this is my life that YOU gave to me and I will follow the path you choose." I think that may have been a message to me or you or both of us in that moment that wrote that - it flowed far too well for me to have said it. I'm never sure but still, there you go my lovely xxxxxxxxx

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  2. aww thanks. you are right. It's such a tough choice to make and really it shouldn't be. but it is! And when you make the right shoice you feel sooo much better, but then something happens and I snatch it all back again and go for it alone and... you guessed it! It doesn't work.. why do we do that? I guess Life is a learning curve and every day is freash with no mistakes in it... yet lol

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