The Challenge....

The Challenge it to get from A to Z, to get from feeling like we are only just surviving to feeling Alive and to learn and grow along the way. My hope is that by writing things down I will work harder, ask for help more, and keep at it for longer than I would do if I was trying this alone. I am doing this to try to make my Life better for my kids and my husband, to help myself to be happier and hopefully to be able to be a better person, wife, mother and friend.

I also hope that by sharing this with the world some how it may help other people in there own quests and journeys though life.

Life is a Journey and although it is very important to have a goal or to know where you are headed it is also vitally important to enjoy the journey... I think... What do you think?

The Starting place...

What Does my life look like now, what does it means to "Just Survive?"

Here is where I am to be brave and bare my soul.... God help me...

• Business Pretty much Dead-  booo...
• Over £10,000 in debt... (Plus student loan...)
• On Benefits and desperately looking for work...
• Rich is half way though his application to the Navy
• 2 Years of Depression
• Unhappy and Stressed most of the time
• Frustrated and trying so hard to care for my family, but feel like I fail every day.
• Not Sleeping well and having nightmares...

Okay so that's pretty bleak and Depressing just to look at. I hope I'm not depressed you just by writing that down...

What does Feeling alive look like?

• I want to Close the business down and for Richard to get himself a Job to take his mind off of things and so we can start to sort our finance's out.
• To be on significantly less benefits and to being able to think and plan about getting off them all together!
• To no longer feel depressed most days to have fun. To look forward to tomorrow because it's going to be a good day!
• To know I am doing a good job with my kids and family and that I am a goo wife and friend.
• To sleep well and feel well each day (or even just most days. most days would be a good start)
• It would be amazing if Rich could get into the navy, but if not to have a good job and a clear career plan...
• To be paying off more of our debt, and to have a clear financial plan of how and when we might be free of this big debt hanging over our heads...

Well this is my Challenge to myself.. I don't know how this will work out. I want to be positive and excited, but to be perfectly honest right now I am terrified.. But hear goes.. I've heard that it's good to make a decision and so I will.

I decide to do something about my life situation. I know that it is my own responsibly and I can either spend my time and energy complaining, passing the blame and feeling sorry for myself or I can do something about it.

I am determined to Pray, Praise, Pursue and Power my way though to feeling Alive!